Image.

So today I am talking to my IM friend in New York. About image.

I'm not that impressed with this guy, he's so sucked in the machine of New York that I feel like he has forgotten about life. People. Connection. He's explaining elaborate ways to psyche people out, sliders he calls them. Ways to make people stop and scratch their heads. Also all about getting rich. quickly. I've always wanted to go to New York, but this mentality turns me off. I dont know if I want to get sucked into this ideology. He also seems like a pity party to me most of the time, so perhaps I'm taking this too seriously. As my dad would say, consider the source and move on.

I guess the point thats interesting and pertinent about this topic has to do with the conversation I was having with Neil just a few days ago about image. The effect and results that I have gotten by paying more attention to my image, my clothes, my demeanor. Caring more about shoes, clothes, I don't know what else. Back in high school and almost solidly through college, I didn't want to care about anything having to do with the way I looked. I've always seemed like the dark hairy girl with the moppy curls. And now, I have changed my tune a little. The $40+ that I spend on my nails every few months, worth it? I think so. It makes me feel pretty, feminine. And whats important to note is that I had no interest in being pretty feminine or sexy really as recently as 5 years ago. My Neil, the traveler, the I only have black t shirts so that my laundry isn't complicated guy, had been taught that image was the least important aspect of a person. And I agree, but isn't it so nice when someone takes care with style, colors, aesthetic? I know it makes a massive difference to me in whomever I am dating. I like the idea of going out with someone that turns heads, that people look twice at.

The psychology of Image is so strange and unamable. Is it just as simple as the idea that people like pretty things? I can get more things, power, favor, open doors, just by putting on a little bit of make up, or sparkly earings? Are we this superficial? Is this really a superficial contemplation, or is there validity to the people who really take the time to care about these things. Like a war between the idea of intelligence and image, as if they are mutually exclusive, or proportionally related? I think that I find power in being able to traverse the line between concern and lack of concern about how I look, by being able to look nice and hold an intelligent conversation at the same time. The key I think, is balance.

tell me a story > cherry blossoms for molly

a story

i went to see the cherry blossoms on sunday
met my friend ming with my crazy house guest, neil
for persian food
then we walked down to the capital, stopped on a college green, of GW. the kids there, they were having fun.
and indian club playing with paint and water, a business school near by, so college students in tight suits would periodically walk by as we watched the indians corner and grab each other to smear and drench who ever was still dry

a beautiful day, we sat for a while, then moved along to the crowds and tourists, and when we hit this my friend ming, one spontaneous unpredictable long haired asian man, started walking faster. and then neil and i a little puzzled started walking faster too until wait whats he doing? hes running. away. not. looking. back. at. all.

huh?

we felt like we were playing a video game, catch the little yellow friend when it happened again later. we just gave up on it till he texted me with his location, then we went back .. id figured that he was going on his own way.. later we decided to go to georgetown for ice cream (the boys wanted ice cream) and it happened again. ming leading, then running.. away. then in georgetown, some shopping, a dinner, the crazy mongolian chick that i tumbled into through a cl adventure and some drinks. she calls her friend (aka chauffer) and we get a ride back to my house, the "friend" is a 50 something afghani man, that i have never seen say no when holly the mongolian calls up for a ride. pile into this car as i converse in farsi with him while he drives a little crazy, then she stays even though im not thrilled about the idea... drinks all the green apple hard cider in my fridge, and some vodka. we've gone out a few times, but im really not sure what to do about her. i dont think i like her.

but shes coming tonight with us to the lesbian club. my bi identity is suffering now? what does it mean when you take four guys and a girl to the lesbian club? tonite will be interesting and fun. too bad my body is in such strange shape. party mode. my head hurts and im dehydrated. was doing a fast for a minute that you eat one day then not the next but
i wasnt disciplined enough for all that. another production of ming ideas