issues

i want to write, i want to write, and i can't seem to ever get around to it. i don't want to write i don't want to record this chaos, this madness, this incredible restless inner gnawing crap i deal with on a day to day basis and still.... and still and still i think but write it anyway

so my broken leg has me in bed thinking a lot, as if i didn't do enough of this already, now i have some time to "think about my life". what's good is that i've had some time away from the devils breath that makes life just not matter, which makes me just not care about anything. it made me funny, and made nothing important really. just getting up and finding the next pillar of truth, of inner realisation which could be anything really, even as simply as wow look at the way i squashed that bug right there.

the door to my patio is broken. i've had an interesting time. from the spill in the garage, to waiting for rescue to smoking a bowl then going to sleep then ER all day next now my elevated and constantly iced knee is crying here at 3 am just simply crying out in pain -- and its a pain that reflects something amiss on the inside. something is seriously amiss, on the inside of me.

this is a big problem see..