wigcognito

went out tonight, faces. club dc. techno. music
looking at them thinking of you

static.
static.
static dance static.
holy shit dominos ex?

now boys
boys
boys bouncing
sometocloseand some

too

f a r.
looking at them and thinking of you.

i was incognito
the costume version. sassy.
pirate boots and long black hair

dancing in my wigcognito.

in the different levels of the club we travelled.
me and my shadow, who hid in the walls waiting.
in the eye of the swirl of undulating slack jaws
my eyes restlessly roam. consistantly peering
for a sign of life betrayed in the cut of a face

braced to take the earth head on.

maybe in him ill find a hero.
i think often looking at all these boys around me.
knock knock. anybody in there?
i mean really in there?
no? oh im sorry, i thought i saw something.
wrong number? goodness, im sorry ill make a note of it.

thats kind of the nature of the futile search isn't it

looking for that diamond in the rough.
searching for my familiar in these strangers
weaving through anonyminity waiting and watching.

if he was here, what would he look like?
in the hypothetical which one of these boys would he be?

the wig was a hit, it usually is.
how many times did they ask where i was from?

brazil! europe! franace? no, no.
you could be from anywhere they say
i kept it a mystery. yes i could be and in

my boredom i think

promising never meant anything beyond disappointment
so ive tried to zen my way through it over time,
bringing things always to that precarious slowness
that balance between hoping to see and looking away
in the meantime ill dress up and dance here,
talking to some dodging some others
late at a club full of no one i know
i'm looking at them

and thinking of you.