Hypnosis.
*Sleep*
Deeper and deeper. *sleep* deeper and deeper. *sleep*
~Snap~
I don't really know why I became so interested in hypnosis. I always have had a fascination with it, since I was very young. I remember fantacising about hypnotising my teachers into giving me more time on my homework, or into simply giving me preferred treatment over the other students. It was a strange thing really, considering how well behaved and bright I was as a young girl.
But it must come back to power, and control. Giving up control, being in control. These ideas swarm around the idea of hypnosis for me like bees swarm honey, and years later one day I found myself reading erotica, and finding the strangest stories about domination, hypnosis, aliens and mind control.
This then led me to run a search on craigslist casual encounters for the word hypnosis.
One ad.
I responded.
He wrote back, his name was dribble-glass and he lived far away, in baltimore.
Now I don't have a car. And generally it is near impossible for me to get anywhere remotely close to Baltimore. But that day, after a few emails, we had a phone call. He was slammed with work, but if I could perchance come up that day, he knew it was short notice but... And my curiousity had me wiggling so damn much about the idea of it that I managed to borrow a car from my ex and drive up to meet him for a drink.
I arrived in dirty baltimore and found the dive bar we were supposed to meet up at. A statue outside. A joker of sorts. The place had a hard core way about it. Red lights. Leather seats. I sat down at the bar and tried to look like I belonged there. Instead I kept looking out the window, wondering when this guy would make his way up to the place. A drink? The bartender has short spiked blonde hair and seems to want to make me feel more at home there, I have been sitting down and getting up a few times. Yes, no.. yes. I order one. Then forget about it.
He doesn't get there too much longer after this. Chuck taylors. Slender. A charming 5 year old boy's smile. A slow deliberate way of talking. Not much older than me. We move to the back of the bar and start talking.
Its not that I don't trust him. I think its more that I don't find him all that powerful. He has a flexible spirit. Its like a willow tree. But I am so excited about the kink of it that I not too long there after agree to go with him to his apartment and let him spin a crystal in front of my eyes.
We tried a few things. It lasted hours in the end. An elaborate aphrodesiac of a drink. Some weed. Different ways to go under, induced relaxation, and you know what I am going to cut to the chase and tell you that I masturbated in front of him. I would have kept going with it, with him, but in the end I didn't like his strange agenda. He was obsessed with control in a way that he would never quite have it. It was almost as if he didnt really believe in it, really. He didn't, from the inside. I think it was a thing to take. In tiny secret moments, away from his girlfriend and the rest of the world as he knew it. Also, constantly telling me how much I love to be hypnotized will have the opposite effect, I do, but I am a rebel and telling me what I am and what to do makes me automatically want to do the opposite. Finally, getting into master naming yourself is kinda a joke to me when you're an obvious submissive.
One thing stood out, an alternate personality. Someone that I could take all my dirty taboo and repressed longings and desires and put it onto. A concept that I could take everything sexual about myself and separate it out of my body, into something else. if I were to do this, pull it all out put it in a woman, if I were to name this person, what would her name be, he asked?
I struggled with it for a while.. and then,
I came up with Jessica.
*sleep* deeper and deeper *sleep* youre going deeper and deeper *sleep*
He told me to go to sleep, and then told Jessica to wake up.
This is when I got very wet. This is when I couldn't stand it. Something about this I very much liked.
And so now, any time I am scared or hesitant or worried about what I have become, I tell myself to go to sleep. Tired, heavy dead of the night sleep. And I tell Jessica to wake up.
*sleep*
Deeper and deeper. *sleep* deeper and deeper. *sleep*
~Snap~
I don't really know why I became so interested in hypnosis. I always have had a fascination with it, since I was very young. I remember fantacising about hypnotising my teachers into giving me more time on my homework, or into simply giving me preferred treatment over the other students. It was a strange thing really, considering how well behaved and bright I was as a young girl.
But it must come back to power, and control. Giving up control, being in control. These ideas swarm around the idea of hypnosis for me like bees swarm honey, and years later one day I found myself reading erotica, and finding the strangest stories about domination, hypnosis, aliens and mind control.
This then led me to run a search on craigslist casual encounters for the word hypnosis.
One ad.
I responded.
He wrote back, his name was dribble-glass and he lived far away, in baltimore.
Now I don't have a car. And generally it is near impossible for me to get anywhere remotely close to Baltimore. But that day, after a few emails, we had a phone call. He was slammed with work, but if I could perchance come up that day, he knew it was short notice but... And my curiousity had me wiggling so damn much about the idea of it that I managed to borrow a car from my ex and drive up to meet him for a drink.
I arrived in dirty baltimore and found the dive bar we were supposed to meet up at. A statue outside. A joker of sorts. The place had a hard core way about it. Red lights. Leather seats. I sat down at the bar and tried to look like I belonged there. Instead I kept looking out the window, wondering when this guy would make his way up to the place. A drink? The bartender has short spiked blonde hair and seems to want to make me feel more at home there, I have been sitting down and getting up a few times. Yes, no.. yes. I order one. Then forget about it.
He doesn't get there too much longer after this. Chuck taylors. Slender. A charming 5 year old boy's smile. A slow deliberate way of talking. Not much older than me. We move to the back of the bar and start talking.
Its not that I don't trust him. I think its more that I don't find him all that powerful. He has a flexible spirit. Its like a willow tree. But I am so excited about the kink of it that I not too long there after agree to go with him to his apartment and let him spin a crystal in front of my eyes.
We tried a few things. It lasted hours in the end. An elaborate aphrodesiac of a drink. Some weed. Different ways to go under, induced relaxation, and you know what I am going to cut to the chase and tell you that I masturbated in front of him. I would have kept going with it, with him, but in the end I didn't like his strange agenda. He was obsessed with control in a way that he would never quite have it. It was almost as if he didnt really believe in it, really. He didn't, from the inside. I think it was a thing to take. In tiny secret moments, away from his girlfriend and the rest of the world as he knew it. Also, constantly telling me how much I love to be hypnotized will have the opposite effect, I do, but I am a rebel and telling me what I am and what to do makes me automatically want to do the opposite. Finally, getting into master naming yourself is kinda a joke to me when you're an obvious submissive.
One thing stood out, an alternate personality. Someone that I could take all my dirty taboo and repressed longings and desires and put it onto. A concept that I could take everything sexual about myself and separate it out of my body, into something else. if I were to do this, pull it all out put it in a woman, if I were to name this person, what would her name be, he asked?
I struggled with it for a while.. and then,
I came up with Jessica.
*sleep* deeper and deeper *sleep* youre going deeper and deeper *sleep*
He told me to go to sleep, and then told Jessica to wake up.
This is when I got very wet. This is when I couldn't stand it. Something about this I very much liked.
And so now, any time I am scared or hesitant or worried about what I have become, I tell myself to go to sleep. Tired, heavy dead of the night sleep. And I tell Jessica to wake up.
*sleep*
posted by sheloves at 1:16 PM
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