her

who is she.

felt like me, familiar. evolving. full of love, eager, and disarming. welcome in, i had her here, in everything. bam it hit me, couldnt make more sense. her for him shh don't tell anyone! if you get too excited, they'll think you're weird. be still, suggest. a greater good. a total match. friend to friend...

rival suspect inconsistant, inappropriate. defiant, unapologetic, and now with my Great Love. i take it back. shit, i take it back. cant take it back. can't. done. out of your (hands) dont respect the hand that feeds you, who the fuck do you think i am, fight, impulse, physical sickness at the idea, that he could, that she would, this intense and strange feeling of betrayal. all, completely unreasonable. based on nothing of substance. and yet mind body and soul encompassing. we've never suffered so hard, cried so much, hurt so definately. not for naught. and wait, is this what they mean when they say i can be a little dramatic? but holy fuck man. who are you anyway. enemy.

one hundred and eighty degrees like a snap. SNAP!
just like that. its like, of course i know that i have no reason to be upset. no real valid reason based on what i setup. but. its like there is a metro coursing through my body leaving this weird, wild searing pain. khhhhhhhh. fire ouch.

we went high tonight. grown tired. now
we fall. to be continued.