Election Day
Typical of my time here in the most unexpected to be expected ways, I will say that I had an interesting election day. The day started out normal, co workers and I had agreed to wear jeans to the office being that we were only going to be there for half a day. I wore my dark tight jeans and olive green tank under a black longsleeve button down, boots and a green striped scarf around my neck for accent. It was one of those rare days that I was kicking ass, getting everything done, and taking names. Wrapped up things at work and debated going to north carolina as I'd planned the day before, as they'd given us a half day for the election I took it as a sign that I needed to vote. We aren't going to get into why I didnt have an absentee ballot. It seemed like a lot to drive just to vote blue in a red state, but I knew if I didn't that I would have no room to bitch if Bush won, so with a final ok I'm in decision, I headed to Budget to start my journey.
Renting a compact I was prepared for anything but the PT Cruiser they gave me. Sahweeeet. I made a quick dash to my apartment, packed for a nite (just in case) and hit the road by 2:30 in the afternoon. The ride down was pleasant, cool ass car, sunny skies, clear roads, and made it to NC with an hour to spare to vote. I had been awfully nervous about getting there on time. And even then, I wondered if they would know that I don't live there anymore and thus disqualify my vote. But no, no lines, no fuss, no trouble, I pulled into the polls and voted, and came out with my proud "I voted" sticker. I was proud of myself. Now there was a wake to attend, my parents were waiting, but I had a few other things to do first.
Getting in my snazzy PT, I drove all the high school familiar roads back through Raleigh to the head shop across from the university. After a brief chat with the guy that worked there about how Ashcroft put the lock down on most head shops up and down the east coast, and therefore there weren't anymore bowls or bongs, I ended up purchasing two pretty glass batties and got back in on my way. Now, for some time I had been thinking of this very intriguing purchase I was about to make, for some time I had been building up to the idea of actually purchasing a remote control vibrator, and so this night, election night, I decided was the time to buy it. Driving again familiar roads from my life before this one, I find my way to pricilla's, the local sex store. It's a relatively bright florecented tired place with big haired women at the counter, pleasantly willing to take the toys out, put batteries in and answer all your questions about it for you, if you have enough courage to ask questions about a rubbery phallic object's potential to please your hoo ha like youre talking about shampoo.. anyhow, I know they have one because I've looked for one here before, but couldn't justify the price, $97 big ones. Yet this time, its not really an issue. I know I want it, so I test out the distance of the remote-ability and make my purchase.
Now with my vices handled, I move on to the wake.. the mother of a dear friend of my parents.
Trouble is, on my way to the house, I HAVE to try out my new toy. So driving, I strip down my pants and slink into the elastic/bright red plastic thong that is my new vibrating friend. And while I'm driving, I test out the controls. And you know, I really can't feel it all that well, let me try smokin a tad ... jussst to see if maybe my sensors will kick in better. Now that I have a new piece and all, reaching into my new packages I reason it out completely. Don't ask me why I happened to have the green on me. And so there I am, driving vibrating, smoking and trying to follow directions to the home of the deceased, for a wake. So so so silly.
Well right when I start feeling my buzz and the vibrator starts doing its work correctly, I find myself already there. And I am late. And I am you know, definitively on the high side of sober. I quickly park and my hips jerk up, the vibrator is still buzzing along, completely true to its job.. and I close my eyes tight. Two deep breaths in and ohhh! ok.. thank goodness I got that out of my system. I reach down, and don't think twice about pulling my pants up, and over my Bright Red Plastic Thing, hurriedly button my pants and start walking towards the house before I click in and come to a realizing halt that yes, I still have them on. Hmm. Turn back? no, I don't really have time, I will have to deal with it.
I semi waddle up to the house, trying to forget that I just got off on a vibrator that I am still wearing, and emphatically inserting sobriety into my brain. I knock on the door, and it opens. There behind it are all the members of my parents persian community, all dressed in black, all sitting in a formal living room, all looking at me and all looking sober and dissaproving. All completely on to me. No! Thats just in my head. Right. The hostess/daughter of the deceased looks at me warmly, and gives me the tradition two cheek kiss. Does she smell marijuana on my breath? I hope not. Then others. Hello, how are you, all the people I've known since I was 12. All the prominent members and families. The polite thing to do when you come in the company of persians is to say hello to each one personally, oone by one and I felt each hello like a judgment blow on my ratty appearance and disheveled way. Hyperconscious of my chastity belt like vibrator under my jeans I make a quick dart for the bathroom to freshen up... and after raiding the draws for lotions perfumes or toothpaste, I wash my face and come out feeling a lot cleaner.
So fortunately I forget about the vibrator and chat with my parents. Pay my condolences to the family and connect a little with their teenage daughter that I taught a persian dance solo to when she was 6. I eat from the expansive spread of all sorts of persian food layed out for the guests. The Soodi's are running around, looking stressed so I assume that they are the caterers. And two hours later I am ready to hit the road again. My dad ensures the morgage check from me and with a pat on the back and a hug my parents send me off, worried and concerned about my safety on the road this late, and in the dark. Be careful! Be safe! I wave good bye and am on my way.
No, I didn't have the balls to use the thing in the company of my parents friends.
But in the car as I travel back to DC, this is another story. I still have the vibrator on and as I stop at a gas station I slip the remote into my pocket. As I approach the convenience store I turn the vibrator on.. and reach the door walking in the vibrator sounds loud so I quickly turn it off. I look at the gas station boys, they smile at me. I half smile back and look away. Casually I browse for my redbull and sour cream and chedder ruffles, make my purchases and leave, turning the vibrator on as I walk out. I press up against a metal divider as I throw something out in the trash and the sensation is extreme. I quickly look back to see if the guys see me, they don't. On my way back to the car I straddle another loop metal divider thing, for a little longer, then decide I must be pushing my luck so I get into my car and leave.
On the road, I'm listening to the election. State by state, numbers stacking numbers, and the vibrator's remote is still in my pocket. So everytime I bend over, it triggers. I vibrate listening to politics in motion, I vibrate as I listen to the country once again plunge into the hands of a war hungry 3-year old with a machine gun, I vibrate listening to Ohio turn this election like Florida last time, knowing my friend that recently moved there didn't care enought to register, I alternatively vibrate and stop vibrate, depending on how bored I am.. and listen to the country's fate on the radio.
The last point of interest came when about 40 or 50 miles out of DC I came up with this crazy idea to stop the care and really get off. The idea is so absolutely insane that I tell myself that in order to do it I need to smoke another bowl. So I oblige and stop the car eventually, wanting a dark place where you can't see much. Getting out I lay down on this slop just beyond the rail and let the vibrator go, I start fondling my chest. I see the sky, I feel the air, I hear cars wizzing by and suddenly, as insanely wild the idea was, it turns stupid in my head. I am not getting off this way. Its pointless. My fist pound the grass and I sit up. I look around, and feeling just pissed get up. On my way back to my car, as I rounded the front of it, two huge truckers are barelling down thr road. I know they can see me, I know that the lights light up the side of the road as mine did when I was looking for a spot to stop... and without thinking, without debate I grab the bottom of my shirt and pull it up high, with my tits meeting the cold air boldly, and kept my pose like that till both truckers wizzed by me. At which point I got into my car, scared to death (that they would stop? not sure) and drove the rest of the way home, simultaneously shaking my head at myself in disbelief, and exhilarated at the crazy risky beast I can be.
Renting a compact I was prepared for anything but the PT Cruiser they gave me. Sahweeeet. I made a quick dash to my apartment, packed for a nite (just in case) and hit the road by 2:30 in the afternoon. The ride down was pleasant, cool ass car, sunny skies, clear roads, and made it to NC with an hour to spare to vote. I had been awfully nervous about getting there on time. And even then, I wondered if they would know that I don't live there anymore and thus disqualify my vote. But no, no lines, no fuss, no trouble, I pulled into the polls and voted, and came out with my proud "I voted" sticker. I was proud of myself. Now there was a wake to attend, my parents were waiting, but I had a few other things to do first.
Getting in my snazzy PT, I drove all the high school familiar roads back through Raleigh to the head shop across from the university. After a brief chat with the guy that worked there about how Ashcroft put the lock down on most head shops up and down the east coast, and therefore there weren't anymore bowls or bongs, I ended up purchasing two pretty glass batties and got back in on my way. Now, for some time I had been thinking of this very intriguing purchase I was about to make, for some time I had been building up to the idea of actually purchasing a remote control vibrator, and so this night, election night, I decided was the time to buy it. Driving again familiar roads from my life before this one, I find my way to pricilla's, the local sex store. It's a relatively bright florecented tired place with big haired women at the counter, pleasantly willing to take the toys out, put batteries in and answer all your questions about it for you, if you have enough courage to ask questions about a rubbery phallic object's potential to please your hoo ha like youre talking about shampoo.. anyhow, I know they have one because I've looked for one here before, but couldn't justify the price, $97 big ones. Yet this time, its not really an issue. I know I want it, so I test out the distance of the remote-ability and make my purchase.
Now with my vices handled, I move on to the wake.. the mother of a dear friend of my parents.
Trouble is, on my way to the house, I HAVE to try out my new toy. So driving, I strip down my pants and slink into the elastic/bright red plastic thong that is my new vibrating friend. And while I'm driving, I test out the controls. And you know, I really can't feel it all that well, let me try smokin a tad ... jussst to see if maybe my sensors will kick in better. Now that I have a new piece and all, reaching into my new packages I reason it out completely. Don't ask me why I happened to have the green on me. And so there I am, driving vibrating, smoking and trying to follow directions to the home of the deceased, for a wake. So so so silly.
Well right when I start feeling my buzz and the vibrator starts doing its work correctly, I find myself already there. And I am late. And I am you know, definitively on the high side of sober. I quickly park and my hips jerk up, the vibrator is still buzzing along, completely true to its job.. and I close my eyes tight. Two deep breaths in and ohhh! ok.. thank goodness I got that out of my system. I reach down, and don't think twice about pulling my pants up, and over my Bright Red Plastic Thing, hurriedly button my pants and start walking towards the house before I click in and come to a realizing halt that yes, I still have them on. Hmm. Turn back? no, I don't really have time, I will have to deal with it.
I semi waddle up to the house, trying to forget that I just got off on a vibrator that I am still wearing, and emphatically inserting sobriety into my brain. I knock on the door, and it opens. There behind it are all the members of my parents persian community, all dressed in black, all sitting in a formal living room, all looking at me and all looking sober and dissaproving. All completely on to me. No! Thats just in my head. Right. The hostess/daughter of the deceased looks at me warmly, and gives me the tradition two cheek kiss. Does she smell marijuana on my breath? I hope not. Then others. Hello, how are you, all the people I've known since I was 12. All the prominent members and families. The polite thing to do when you come in the company of persians is to say hello to each one personally, oone by one and I felt each hello like a judgment blow on my ratty appearance and disheveled way. Hyperconscious of my chastity belt like vibrator under my jeans I make a quick dart for the bathroom to freshen up... and after raiding the draws for lotions perfumes or toothpaste, I wash my face and come out feeling a lot cleaner.
So fortunately I forget about the vibrator and chat with my parents. Pay my condolences to the family and connect a little with their teenage daughter that I taught a persian dance solo to when she was 6. I eat from the expansive spread of all sorts of persian food layed out for the guests. The Soodi's are running around, looking stressed so I assume that they are the caterers. And two hours later I am ready to hit the road again. My dad ensures the morgage check from me and with a pat on the back and a hug my parents send me off, worried and concerned about my safety on the road this late, and in the dark. Be careful! Be safe! I wave good bye and am on my way.
No, I didn't have the balls to use the thing in the company of my parents friends.
But in the car as I travel back to DC, this is another story. I still have the vibrator on and as I stop at a gas station I slip the remote into my pocket. As I approach the convenience store I turn the vibrator on.. and reach the door walking in the vibrator sounds loud so I quickly turn it off. I look at the gas station boys, they smile at me. I half smile back and look away. Casually I browse for my redbull and sour cream and chedder ruffles, make my purchases and leave, turning the vibrator on as I walk out. I press up against a metal divider as I throw something out in the trash and the sensation is extreme. I quickly look back to see if the guys see me, they don't. On my way back to the car I straddle another loop metal divider thing, for a little longer, then decide I must be pushing my luck so I get into my car and leave.
On the road, I'm listening to the election. State by state, numbers stacking numbers, and the vibrator's remote is still in my pocket. So everytime I bend over, it triggers. I vibrate listening to politics in motion, I vibrate as I listen to the country once again plunge into the hands of a war hungry 3-year old with a machine gun, I vibrate listening to Ohio turn this election like Florida last time, knowing my friend that recently moved there didn't care enought to register, I alternatively vibrate and stop vibrate, depending on how bored I am.. and listen to the country's fate on the radio.
The last point of interest came when about 40 or 50 miles out of DC I came up with this crazy idea to stop the care and really get off. The idea is so absolutely insane that I tell myself that in order to do it I need to smoke another bowl. So I oblige and stop the car eventually, wanting a dark place where you can't see much. Getting out I lay down on this slop just beyond the rail and let the vibrator go, I start fondling my chest. I see the sky, I feel the air, I hear cars wizzing by and suddenly, as insanely wild the idea was, it turns stupid in my head. I am not getting off this way. Its pointless. My fist pound the grass and I sit up. I look around, and feeling just pissed get up. On my way back to my car, as I rounded the front of it, two huge truckers are barelling down thr road. I know they can see me, I know that the lights light up the side of the road as mine did when I was looking for a spot to stop... and without thinking, without debate I grab the bottom of my shirt and pull it up high, with my tits meeting the cold air boldly, and kept my pose like that till both truckers wizzed by me. At which point I got into my car, scared to death (that they would stop? not sure) and drove the rest of the way home, simultaneously shaking my head at myself in disbelief, and exhilarated at the crazy risky beast I can be.
posted by sheloves at 9:15 AM
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